Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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