this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
