when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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