We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
