you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
