i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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