Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
