I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
