This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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