Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
