how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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