so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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