Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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