Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
