and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
