bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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