"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
