It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
