i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
