Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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