Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
