Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize