I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
