I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
