listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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