is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
