like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this will be a night to untag.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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