It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it wasn't lemon gatorade
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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