we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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