Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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