I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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