Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
