Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
