I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
