I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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