I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
