I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
