I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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