i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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