who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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