yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
