you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
