I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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