I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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