trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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