Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Who died my cat blue again?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
