my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize