yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
