I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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