And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
