20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
COCAINE IS GR8
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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