you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
