update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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