8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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