Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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