I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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