Umm I'm too high to move.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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