We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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