So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
