Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
