Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
