I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
