Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
