DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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