Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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