We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
