I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
