Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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