He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
