Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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