i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
