check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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